Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
