my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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