my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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