I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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