Just fell off a train. Bad.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
