It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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