All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
