he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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