It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
