I can text with my tongue
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
