Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
