T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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