You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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