I wish I could teleport
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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