I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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