so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
