I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
