so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
