i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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