U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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