this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
