why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
