I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
