what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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