Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
