The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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