Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
