you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
