'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
