"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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