if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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