if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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