Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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