Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
