I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
