my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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