are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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