I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
