the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
