Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
