Sry I called you an 8
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
