I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
