I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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