Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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