Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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