I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
