ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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