I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
