our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
