brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
